I don’t normally post this kind of stuff. For one, they are usually lists written by 23 year old interns at Cosmo magazine and are just complete drivel. For two, I usually don’t bother reading such lists because, reason one.
This one is different.
#31 is the most important. It flows from a theorem I have. Love will survive so long as both parties in the love do not fall out of love at the same time.
#28 was a huge problem for us. She refused to accept that I had done things in another relationship 8 years ago. That was my past. Something I knew she would not appreciate, but I was honest and informed. The only things I could do and be honorable.
#29 for me is an extension of #28. As in #28 is worthless without #29.
#18 also a huge problem. Some came from the internet and some came from “friends” digging in her ear. Friends who have met your mate on one occasion do NOT have an understanding. They may mean well, BUT…
Which leads us to #9. YOU are responsible for your reactions. YOU are responsible to work things out with your partner, not with your “friends”.
Possibly tied with #31, is #1. If you are looking for faults you will find them. God knows I have faults. But I also have lots of great things. Not to mention, one of my faults is not always seeing how my faults manifest in time. But when I am made aware, I make a conscious effort to make amends and correct them. If you look for the good, that is where your focus will be. Focus is important.
Having said those things.
She got most of the others right. She was awesome in many of these areas. I guess for me, I very strongly worked #1 and #31. My natural state is #2 and #17.
I failed at #16 (substituting “women”) and I justified it by “she asked”, so I need to be honest.
I also failed at #24. I did not do it on purpose. I did not do it with forethought or malice. I did it by being too familiar with others present, but I did it.
In other words, as I have said all along, we are both complicate. In every relationship, both parties are complicate and share the blame. Even the worst partner is not completely at fault. If for no other reason, the other chose such a poor partner. But, I accept that I made MORE than my fair share errors. Apparently, tragic errors beyond repair.
But, I hold to my personal theorem. We will see if it matters. That is a time will tell thing.
In the mean time, I work on learning from my failures so that should she come back, I will be better. If that doesn’t happen, then I will fail less with the next person to capture my heart.