What follows is my current idea for the opening page of my book. Our book actually. There will be more of Dawn in the book than there will be of me. Dawn was the main character in our story. She was the source of wisdom, inspiration… The important thing here is I am committing to give this a go, committing to work at this and hopefully cludge together a coherent and compelling story that will help a few people at least. Not the least of which will be me.
I am going to tell you a story. It is a story heard often enough, a story of girl meets boy – boy falls in love with girl. But, here it gets a little interesting. It is also a story of good verses what I would like to call evil, but is probably actually only bad. It is a story about war. Not a war like the American Revolution or the Civil War; but a tiny little war whose battles are so universal that everyone should recognize them intimately. This war did not make the national news. It did not make state news. Even when it did make the local news, almost no one recognized it as a war. It was so small that almost no one witnessed it; but those who did are forever changed.
I would like to say that all who were affected by this war saw it as the battle that it was. I would like to tell you, everyone chose to be on the side of virtue; but you have met people. Knowing what you know of the nature of some people, obviously some people sided with convenience, their own ego and some even actively pursued evil.
I did not have a passive role in this fight. I did not have to make a choice between good and evil. My choice was much simpler. My choice was between love and immeasurable pain. I chose love. That was not the best choice. It was not a calculated choice. For me, it really wasn’t even a choice. It was what I had to do. If the building you are in is completely engulfed in searing flames except one door, what do you do? You open that door and rush headlong through it. It can’t be as bad as the flames, right?
People will say otherwise about my choice / choices, but there is more truth in the above statement than you can know. I will say that I knew opening the door held the great possibility of back draft. I knew there was an opportunity for fiery torture behind that door. The thing is I had already been in every other room in the building, there was fiery torture everywhere else. It had already burnt me. That door gave opportunity and hope. It gave love an opportunity. That door opened into the greatest relationship I have ever been a part of.
Dawn called that door “Grace”. I called that door opportunity, a second chance that neither of us deserved. When I unexpectedly found that door I ran for it with every fiber in my body pushing for more speed. I had that door open and dashed through it so quickly Dawn didn’t even see me leave. I had to gently place my hand on her shoulder to tell her that I was now by her side. In a typical reaction for her, she startled and sent herself spinning away. There was awkwardness, hurt feelings and tender emotions. There was crying and flashes of anger.
When two people meet in the street running from their burning lives, there are bound to be some adjustment issues. When those two people have been deeply intimate and are very aware of why each other’s lives are on fire and know they are not guilt free, there are definitely lots of sharp edges.
This is a story about those sharp edges. This is a story about taming those sharp edges, usually three or four at a time. This is a story about hatred and pain. This is a story about love and grace. This is a story about a woman who knew she wasn’t worthy and about a man who was sure true love was a great story, but didn’t really exist. This is a story about how those two very broken people found redemption and learned that perfect exists. They learned that perfect is not seamless. They learned that perfect really only means perfect for each other. They learned that perfect is being perfectly broken to fit and fix the broken of your soulmate. They learned that even perfect is not “Perfect”. They learned that it only takes one key and one lock to open the vast expanse of love, a love that is eternal.
But I am giving away some of the story here. I should probably stop with the grand allusions and serve up some meat and potatoes.