August 06, 2016 – a great day to die

baldino photo

For those of you who are not aware, my wife, Dawn Faust Bibby, lost her battle with metastatic breast cancer at 07:15 am on August 06, 2016.
Dawn was a warrior, she was an inspiration, she fought the good fight with everything she had.

The doctors she worked for failed her in several ways. They canceled her COBRA coverage when they sold their practice. She was not informed of this in advance nor did they help her to find alternative coverage. She went slightly more then a month without any health insurance. She discovered the loss of insurance when she attempted to renew the prescription for her cancer pill. The little pill that kept her cancer penned in. The little pill she took every day to keep her cancer away or at least from spreading. She was not able to take that pill for 24 days. Looking back, we now know that is when her cancer began spreading like wildfire and mutating. I will leave the failure list at one. That one is quite enough.

We knew things were not going good, but we had hope and we fought on. I say we, because those who know us, know that WE did most everything together. WE fought cancer. I had no better use for my time then to do whatever Dawn needed done. Sometimes that meant doing errands, sometimes that meant folding the laundry, sometimes that meant holding her hand and telling her I love her. More often then not, it meant driving her to Miami for her treatments, so we went to Miami.

On our last trip to Miami, she went down to have a procedure done to insure her breathing would be better. Her plural cavity had mets and the cavity would fill up with fluid as a result. So she got a procedure that fused the cavity. No cavity, no retention of fluid, easier breathing. After that surgery, even despite the abuse of surgery, her breathing was obviously better. Within 8 hours it was a success. But she needed an MRI to see why her kidneys were not acting right. Long story short, the results of that MRI showed the “minor” liver mets had never been minor and most certainly wasn’t anymore. Our agreement with the doctors in Miami was the COMPLETE truth. We got it, finally. We finally got the report from two months earlier and the current report. Quite simply, Dawn had massive mets in the liver as well as the pancreas and other related areas. With prodding, the doctor said in his opinion, she had a week or two on this earth.

That was an important two weeks. It gave us time to get back to where we live. It gave us time to make family and friends aware. It gave the kids and others time to come to her side. It gave us time to talk. And talk we did. She was so gracious. As she had throughout our entire marriage, she blessed me with wisdom. She helped me to see ways to forgive some people, ways to jump start my grieving process. She grieved with me. After all, she was losing me. I cannot explain how much her words of encouragement, faith and just holding her hand while we cried, helped.

As the actual day neared, she realized she might die on her brother’s birthday. She adamantly stated that would NOT happen. She demanded that I help her to make it past Thursday. She told me when we were alone, she did not want much pain medicine. She wanted to be sure she was lucid enough to fight that damn cancer until Friday morning came. I swore to her, that I would honor that and her other wishes. I did. By Friday morning, her resolve was still set, but her lucidity was not really there anymore. I repeatedly told her she made it. I repeatedly told her she beat her Thursday deadline. After one such monologue, she had a bubble of lucidity. She thanked me for getting her into Friday. While I had her attention, I told her to stop fighting. I told her to let the Valkarys come and take her. She smiled past the pain and whispered, they can come again, now.

That was the last thing I am aware of Dawn saying. She fought of the Angels of God so her brother would not have to remember her dying on his birthday. That was just the kind of woman she is. I say is, because she taught me one last thing in those two weeks. Love never dies. If love never dies, then she never dies. She was forced to discard her mortal body in order to take on her perfect form. This means, neither she nor her love die. This means those of us who love her, if we keep our souls right, will see her again in that perfect form.

I know it motivates me.

Thank you for reading her cancer blog. This will likely be the last post.

1 Comment

August 12, 2016 · 12:47

One response to “August 06, 2016 – a great day to die

  1. The Smiling Pilgrim

    I am sorry for your loss

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